Continuing on from Part 1, the confinement lady’s performance became increasingly frustrating for my wife, and our helper had also commented on her behaviour and how instead of preparing tasks herself, she pushed a lot of it to the helper. Even our parents commented on a her lack of professional demeanour e.g not tying her hair, clothes looking disheveled. With negative feedback from pretty much all the stakeholders involved, something need to be done…

Day 12-13: Dismissal and Re-appointment

The discontent my wife had towards the confinement lady had grown to such a level that we had to quickly look for a new one. So over the weekend, we went interviewing a number of available candidates and decided on a successor.

The tricky part now is to dismiss the current one – given her work attitude thus far, I was weary if she may pull any tricks, so I read through the contract and rehearsed how I tell her the dismissal. Surprisingly she took it well enough, and after paying her for her work days and having her pack afterwards, she left shortly after. So we thought that was the end…for now.

Day 14: Our new confinement lady

This new confinement lady quickly proved her value and my wife’s trust in her. She did more in 8 hours for  my wife than what the previous confinement can do in DAYS. The problem however, is just that – she is not 24hr. So now, our helper and I will take alternating nights to look after the baby while wifey gets as much rest as she can to recover from pumping milk for the baby.

As for the previous one, she said she wants to come back to pick up some stuff she left behind. We were ok with that and set a time for her to come pick up. The tricks came after, as she then said she wants to get payment for 1) some groceries she bought from the market for us, and 2) transportation fee for her coming on first day and then leaving after dismissal. The issue is 1) I gave her the money and specifically told her to use that for buying groceries and not to use her money; and 2) she had someone drive her to and from our place, so…”wtf transportation fee?!”.  We flatly refused and we have our helper bring her stuff to her in the lobby.

Day 16: Flared Emotions

With the baby at home, almost all attention is on the baby. Tensions inadvertantly flare up but are quickly suppressed as we know it is part of the process. Wifey is also doing her best to control the temper and mood swings – that I know. However, things got to a head tonight after dinner when my frustration got the better of me while running between handling the diaper station and also cleaning the milk pumps. In the end, between the baby’s cry and wifey’s constant words, I shouted back at her. The result – an upset wife and a crying baby. Suffice to say, it was not a good night…

So you see, the beginnings of parenthood is a lot to work and adaptation. This can be overwhelming especially if you take a hands on approach to taking care of the baby with not a lot of help. If you had a good start, that is a blessing, but don’t sweat it if things seem to break down around you. Most people will be telling you to take good care of your wife and of course you will, but you also have to take care of yourself. If you break down, there isn’t some one else to give close support to your wife and baby. Remember to look for help from friends and family when you feel worn out!